He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
