bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
