dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
