dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
