just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
