I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
