porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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