i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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