How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
