I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
