After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
