"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize