did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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