ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
