I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
