how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
