somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so that wasnt chicken after all
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
