You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Randomize
