So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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