Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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