I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
