My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
