I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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