Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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