R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
