why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
