This girl is more easily done than said...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
