I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
