Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
