I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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