i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
wow bdsm is so cute
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
