I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
