Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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