Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
