I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
