You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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