his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
