dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
