Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
