I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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