Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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