why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
