arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
