True but thats because hes a fetus.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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