He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
