I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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