I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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