if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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