you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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