Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
