My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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